at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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