I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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