he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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