No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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