She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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