Do you still have your period?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
