I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
