what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
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