You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Randomize
