I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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