the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
