Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
