girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize