Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
