Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
