fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
