every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She's the barista slut.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize