brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Randomize
