I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
