That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
