Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
