I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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