Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
