Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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