i'm signing you up for texting rehab
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize