Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
