Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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