people are starting to question the shark bite story
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We left the knife in your bed.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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