Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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