He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
