I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You may now shotgun with the bride
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Sex in the backyard? Check.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
