All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think i peed on brittanys purse
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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