He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
