1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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