And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
