Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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