Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I looked at my own cervix.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
