Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point

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(954): View more from Florida

I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos

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(818): View more from California

At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.

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(636): View more from Missouri

I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.

(314): View more from Missouri

Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.

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(207): View more from Maine

I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.

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(812): View more from Indiana

He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.

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