Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
