So drunk its hurt
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize