Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
