i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
