Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
