He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
