Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
