its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
