I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
