Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It was like giving head to a cactus.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
