You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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