hotel room ftw
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
