Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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