Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
