I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
