babies were throwing up all over the place
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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