Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
