Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
