I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
