He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
