At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
