it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize