How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
